I recently returned from a camping trip that was perspective-shifting. As I sat around the campfire, gazing up at the starry night sky, I was unexpectedly filled with a realization of God’s cosmic vastness.
I thought, am I really looking up at hundreds of enormous plasma spheres located trillions of miles away from me? Are we all actually living on this planet, among trillions of others, barrelling through the solar system and the Milky Way?
This was an embarrassingly shocking revelation. How could I lose sight of the inescapable cosmic vastness before us?
It’s standard today to hear about how smartphones are ruining people’s mental health. Excessive phone use, we’re told, withdraws us from the present moment and creates or accentuates feelings of anxiety. Under this model, smartphone-driven anxiety could account for a loss of grounded awareness of one’s place in the universe.
While there are merits to this argument, there’s another more spiritual explanation that’s equally worth considering. One that speaks more deeply to who we are as people and touches on one of our greatest struggles.
Perpetually curved inward
There’s a concept in Christian thought known as “incurvatus in se.” This is a Latin phrase that literally means to be “curved inward on oneself.” Basically, it refers to a life lived within and for the self, in contrast to being oriented outward towards others.
While the idea has biblical precedent, it wasn’t named in this way until Saint Augustine gave it its name. Saint Augustine, a famous Roman theologian who produced his writing during the fourth and fifth centuries, linked the concept of sin with humankind’s prideful turning away from God and towards himself. It is, accordingly, this fundamental self-preoccupation that lies behind every lapse of character we experience.
This is a highly astute observation. Consider the laundry list of possible moral transgressions. How many reflect a choice to prioritize the desires of self over others? Recall also how easy it is to get caught up in our own goals, achievements, wants and needs, and how this tends to separate us from others—limiting our empathy in the process.
Being “curved inward on oneself” is, unfortunately, the default setting for many of us. Otherwise, we experience it in transient bursts, though these are no less damaging. There is no one who can boast of being totally free of this condition. We are, after all, hardwired for self-concern.
The dangers of “me”
Excessive self-regard has a number of negative outcomes for individuals and the societies we inhabit. When we focus completely on ourselves, it’s nearly impossible for us to see beyond our self-interest.
We become totally engrossed in the affairs of “me,” unable for a second to recognize or care about the condition of another. We begin to lose sight of reality. The blinders of narcissism block our view. Suddenly, the world (as we see it) becomes the work of an egotistical imagination: a mere misrepresentation at best, an outright fantasy at worst.
We begin to view others purely through the lens of self, a phenomenon known in psychology as “projection.” With this, our own flaws start appearing in others. They’re no longer our flaws, but actually the shortcomings of others, and they were all along!
This, of course, is merely a defense mechanism designed to shield us from the uncomfortable truth of our own propensity to “fall short.” But the blinders we wear work tirelessly to ensure that this fact remains buried deep in our subconscious mind.
Eventually, our capacity to empathize and feel compassion for others begins to wane as we idolize our own enrichment. In extreme cases, this paves the way for antisocial, criminal behaviour. More commonly, it simply ripples out, compromising our ability to co-operate among the human species for the betterment of all. In short, the world becomes a miserable place.
Breaking free
For a time, living within the world of “me” might seem OK—even great—for the individual. As people of ego, we relish the spotlight. We jump at the chance to be seen, heard or praised. Attention makes us feel important and alleviates (however temporarily) our sense of insignificance and inadequacy.
But Christianity teaches that no soul can be truly happy until it breaks free of the self. When we puncture and rise above our tiny ego shells, reality begins to unveil itself before us. We begin to see the world, including ourselves and everyone around us, in its true form. Our preconceptions, judgments, projections and biases melt away.
At this point, we’re no longer “curved inward,” but “straightened out,” at last pointed outward towards God and his children. Our new focus is on the transcendent, whose name is Love. Towards God we begin to ascend, until finally we transcend, reaching the summit of what it means to be human: An infinitely vast place where pure, unadulterated Truth pervades all, and ultimate meaning is found.
Salvation is rare
How can we work to break free of our tiny selves? Well, finding the correct path forward is both difficult and easy.
First, a word on its difficulty: It’s likely that some people will respond to their selfishness with a desire to embark on a “self-work” journey—basically a long-term effort aimed at weakening one’s ego. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, there’s nonetheless one crucial danger.
Self-work journeys, whether secular or religious, can (and often do) insidiously devolve into having the exact opposite effect of what’s intended. What might seem like doing the right thing by working to address our flaws can actually turn into a vanity project that serves only to enhance them. That’s because excessive introspection can breed self-importance.
It’s also easy to fall into the trap of enjoying “self-work” because it makes us look and feel like a good person. In a world where most people simply go through life at the beck and call of their undisciplined “monkey brain,” we can feel as though we’re nobly unique and morally superior in our attempts at change.
Any sustained effort at “self-work” or spirituality in general can be precarious without adequate vigilance. Hence, the Gospel of Matthew’s warning:
Enter through the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
There are few who find it. We’re reminded here just how rare true spirituality is.
True salvation is simple
At the same time—and this is the good news—salvation is also ludicrously simple. Indeed, the great spiritual traditions of the world usually include some form of “simplicity” trope. In Christianity, this takes the form of God’s free gift of salvation. The sacrifice of Christ on the cross is held unequivocally to wipe away every stain of human sin; each person needs only to realize this and they’ll be liberated.
In Zen Buddhism, there is the idea of original enlightenment, which states that all beings exist already in a state of enlightenment. No effort at religious cultivation, then, is required in order to recognize what is inherently within.
The path to God must be straightforward and universally accessible, and we should be skeptical of any claims to the contrary. For beneath the veneer of sanctimonious, enlightened language often lurks a brilliantly disguised idolatry: the worship of thoroughly human rules, rituals and institutions. Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing, Jesus warns. The appearance of authenticity is often deceiving.
The mountaintop: A locus of transcendence
One way we can transcend the ego is to invoke and learn to dwell within God’s vastness. The Christian tradition is filled with such images of God’s limitless magnitude.
One of the most beautiful is that of the mountaintop. Due to their altitude, mountaintops are biblically considered to be nearest to God, who resides above the sky. They also make great symbols for His divine vastness because of their impressive size and the expansive landscape below. The mountain as a holy place of divine encounter features prominently throughout the Judeo-Christian tradition, and is the setting for some of scripture’s most important stories.
Mount Sinai
One of these stories is that of the famous Israelite exodus from Egypt, which compellingly employs a mountain as God’s home.
The story begins with the enslavement of the Israelites by the Egyptians. Fearing their rapid population growth, the Egyptians “set taskmasters over them to oppress them with forced labour … and made their lives bitter with hard servitude in mortar and bricks and in every kind of field labour.”
Their situation was brutal, as any look at the lives of enslaved people throughout history can attest. Yet, someone was to come and free the Israelites from bondage. Moses, a Hebrew man raised by Egyptians, providentially rose to the occasion.
One day, while tending to a flock of sheep, Moses found himself atop Mount Sinai. There, he was shocked to discover a burning bush, aflame but not consumed. After further inspection, the voice of God suddenly rang out: “Moses, Moses! … Come no closer! Remove the sandals from your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground.”
Humbly, Moses complied, and God then sent Moses on a mission. He was to go to the Egyptian pharaoh and free the Israelites from slavery. As Moses was initially doubtful of his ability to succeed, God reassured him: “I will be with you, and this shall be the sign for you that it is I who sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.” After some more reassurance, Moses was eventually convinced to adopt the role of national liberator and he set off to fulfill his duty.
After much pleading and 10 terrible plagues brought against Egypt, Pharaoh capitulated to Moses, agreeing to let the Israelites go. This was a triumphant, joyous victory for the community, with generations of bondage having finally come to an end.
As the de facto leader of a freed people, Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and into the Sinai Desert. There, he was summoned once again to Mount Sinai, this time to receive the Ten Commandments. Thus began a new covenant between God and his people.
The Mosaic Law (“Law of Moses”) prescribes a certain lifestyle in exchange for God’s blessing and the establishment of a kingdom in the land “flowing with milk and honey.” It’s a foundational concept in Judaism, and it was first given to the people from atop a mountain.
Mount Tabor
Fast-forward several centuries to the time of Jesus, who is in the middle of a preaching ministry. By this time, the Galillean preacher had amassed a significant amount of followers, some of whom enthusiastically devoted their lives to his mission. They were known as the “apostles,” which literally means “those sent out.”
One day, three of the apostles (namely, Peter, James and John) went with Jesus up Mount Tabor to pray. At first, there was nothing unusual about this. There are references throughout the Gospels to the importance Jesus placed on quiet, prayerful reflection.
This was, however, no ordinary moment. Suddenly, and to the amazement of the apostles, Jesus transfigured before them atop Mount Tabor. “Transfigure” comes from a Latin term meaning to change shape or form. Indeed, “his clothes became dazzling bright, such as no one on Earth could brighten them.” (Mark 9:3)
“And there appeared to them Elijah and Moses, who were talking with Jesus … then a cloud overshadowed them, and from the cloud there came a voice: This is my Son, the Beloved; listen to him!” (Mark 9:7) Then, everything returned to normal. “As they were coming down the mountain, [Jesus] ordered them to tell no one about what they had seen, until after the Son of Man had risen from the dead.” (Mark 9:9)
Jesus, fully human and fully divine, visibly embodies the reconciliation of humankind with God in his transfiguration.
The scene of the transfiguration has captured the imagination of Christians throughout the ages. At once magnificent and puzzling, it’s a crucial moment in the life of Jesus for many reasons. For one, it offers an unequivocal pronouncement on his divine identity. Jesus is presented as God’s Son and therefore is to be obeyed. It also situates Jesus within a larger prophetic tradition alongside the spiritual “giants” Elijah and Moses.
The transfiguration, along with Jesus’ baptism, crucifixion and resurrection, is a defining moment in Jesus’ story. Yet, it’s also a moment in which the joining of heaven and Earth in the person of Christ is placed on full display.
Jesus, fully human and fully divine, visibly embodies the reconciliation of humankind with God in his transfiguration. He’s illuminated with a heavenly light as a reflection of God’s entering into the world so that the world might enter into him. It’s no accident that this occurs atop a mountain, from whose view the cosmic vastness of God is markedly plain.
Invoke vastness right now
Those of us without regular access to mountaintops might make use of more immediate techniques to invoke vastness. To live within the vastness of God is to recall the insignificance of our problems. Think of the famous dictum: if it isn’t going to matter in five years, don’t waste more than five minutes worrying about it now.
Cognitive behavioural therapy
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) prescribes a similar goal with the idea of contextualizing our fears.
Consider a certain worry you might have. Let’s say you’re struggling with an important task at work and you don’t think you can meet the deadline. As the date approaches, you begin ruminating about it. You’re unable to sleep. During the day, it seems impossible to think of anything else. One of the features of anxiety is catastrophizing: the tendency to focus on the worst-case scenario of a future event, sometimes believing it to be a foregone conclusion.
The solution, according to CBT, is to recognize these thoughts as the distortions they are by breaking them down and challenging them, thus revealing their exaggerated or wholly irrational nature.
It’s not true that you’ll get fired if you aren’t able to meet this deadline. You’ve worked for this company for years, are well liked and have a proven track record. Asking for an extension may inconvenience your boss a little, but it won’t mean the end of your career. Try to stop thinking so narrowly and see the greater picture. Invoke vastness.
Meditation
Consider also the following meditation exercise.
Begin by becoming mindful of your most immediate surroundings. Maybe you’re on the couch in your living room. Consider the features of the room around you. The furniture you see. Perhaps the sounds or smells. Really become aware of the fact that you’re sitting in this small space.
Next, begin gradually expanding your sense of place. Consider your whole house. Think about all of the rooms. You’re sitting in one room of many, which together compose a contained unit.
After lingering here for a bit, expand your awareness to include your street or neighbourhood. Imagine looking down from a bird’s-eye view. How might it look? Notice how your home is but one of many, each containing its own people with their own stories.
Expand your awareness again to include your entire town or city, and then your country, the world and eventually the universe. The crucial part is never to lose awareness of your own tiny place within all of this. Remember that you’re sitting on the couch at the same time as you’re barrelling through space on a planet within an infinitely vast cosmos. If you keep that in mind, the problems you’re experiencing will seem much more trivial.
Letting go
Last but not least, it’s important to embrace the Christian idea of “letting go” and allowing Christ to change our hearts. Accepting Christ as our Lord means recognizing the danger in trying to fix ourselves, the danger that we’ll fall into egotism as we revere ourselves as our own saviours. It means recognizing that change only comes when we learn to let go of the reins and free our minds of the constant need to worry about ourselves and our spiritual journey.
When we’re confident that God is working on our hearts, we can devote our time and attention to serving others: feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, clothing the naked and visiting the sick. Our empathy and compassion are restored as we enter deeply into the suffering of others.
By entering deeply into others’ suffering, we break free of our tiny ego selves and ascend high above the mountaintops, into the cosmic vastness of God. At least for a time!
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