I used to come with baggage. If you purchased a one-year warranty, a full three-piece vacation deal came with a carry-on! I dragged these along everywhere I went, while ensuring I kept an eye on everything.
I always found myself apologizing for bringing my baggage to events or gatherings, squeezing it past people, and hauling it over things because of the weight. Just as the author Mark Manson says, you can blame your past for how you feel, but your actions that result from it are your responsibility. I most likely didn’t phrase that right.
So how did this all change? Ironically, I got tired of the baggage. I understood that the events that occurred during my upbringing impacted my development and displayed effects throughout other aspects of my life. The only thing that held me back from escaping my mind was breaking the cycle of fear—fear of the unknown. I knew it was going to be uncomfortable and scary.
I packed my bags and took myself out of a specific environment, changed jobs, quit my job with no savings, didn’t work for six months, went back to school, broke generational norms, moved in with my partner, and used my voice. I became the woman I deserved to be because I realized that the self doesn’t exist; my soul is experiencing this blip, which brought me to my awakening.
It was like a switch. I said, “Oh my goodness, it’s me all along.” I bring happiness to my life, I bring sadness, I bring difficulty, I bring everything that I’ve ever felt. I chose it all.
Who are you?
What is the self? We’re told that it’s a collection of our past events, how we present ourselves, our experiences, our trauma, our culture, our religion, our skin colour, our age and a bucket full of other demographics. Without any of these, who are you?
Each person represents the definition of existence, so you’re fundamental to your own. Sometimes I lose sight of the purpose of my existence, only to realize that it’s simply to be. Once you strip away the body and mind from the equation, it leaves you with the raw essence of your being. Before I was defined by my name and experiences, and even before my mind assigned me roles, I simply existed. It took me a very long time to understand and embrace this.
Sometimes I lose sight of the purpose of my existence, only to realize that it’s simply to be.
The next work in progress was understanding the mind. When asked where our mind is located, where do most people point? We point at our head, our “brain,” but the mind doesn’t actually have a location. The mind spreads throughout the entire body—so much so that we could say that our minds are us.
You’d think I would say we are our minds, but then let that sink in. We can’t be slaves to our minds, but the opposite is true. You’re in control and you have the power. The way the mind and universe work is simple. They listen and do exactly what you say and think. You want to have a good day; you say and believe it. You want to feel beautiful; you say and believe it. You want to be content; you say and believe it.
I did the opposite for many, many years. I kept saying out loud to myself that life was hard, that my hair looked terrible, that I wasn’t happy with my body, and guess what? My mind listened and made my perception of existence negative, and my perception of the universe as well.
You are both mind and universe, so treat both the way you want to be treated.
A better place without baggage
I found myself in a better place, but I didn’t know exactly how I got here, and that is where my work started. I spent hours and hours listening to scholars, podcasts and famous writers, reading books, and doing heavy spiritual work.
It came down to finding a therapeutic approach that I could implement in my career—a therapeutic approach that focuses on an existential theory, where we study our own conscious and subconscious layers of the mind to gradually reprogram it. That is what I’d already been doing for three years, subconsciously.
My goal after this is to research and figure out how I can apply this theory to mental health disorders and where it may work. Until then, all I can say is that if you find yourself navigating the storms of life, I urge you to embrace the journey and walk through it. You can either grow or grieve.
«RELATED READ» A WRITER’S GUIDE TO MEDITATION: Listening to the wisdom the Universe wants to provide»
image: Pexels