Purpose. Life.
Those two words ought to co-exist and intermingle, but often, they wind up going their separate ways. There are times when they meet and greet each other, but that lasts for a short period of time (or, they make plans to meet in X years when Y things are wrapped up). What would it take for those two letters to be together forever in a committed and nourishing relationship?
I delved deeper into that relationship in December 2024, when I enjoyed four weeks near Joshua Tree National Park in California. I went on daily hikes and spent several evenings taking star photos in the desert. When I looked up at the stars, I felt a visceral sense of perspective: Those stars are hundreds of light-years away. If some being is watching the Earth from those stars, the Earth would also appear to be a tiny speck in the universe. And where and who am I on that speck? I’m a tinier being on a tiny speck.
That sense of perspective—how everything, even though it appears grand, is relatively small when compared to the entirety of the universe—made me question the concept of grand moments (and the purposes associated with those moments) versus mundane or simple ones.
For the most part, I’ve been focusing on achieving the stereotypical grand things in life: education, job, finances, hobbies, home, relationships and such. I acknowledge that those things are important. I can’t completely disregard them.
And it’s not just me. Often, purpose is thought of as something grand and momentous that will happen in the future:
“When I retire, I’ll travel more and pick up more hobbies.”
“Next Saturday, I’ll volunteer at the neighbourhood community event.”
“I’ll buy a home sometime in the next couple of years.”
These are all great examples of having specific goals.
But is that the only definition of purpose, or can that word be expanded to include other not-so-grand moments or experiences? After all, big is small when you compare something big to other bigger items.
Based on my time in the park, I decided to use the concept of beauty to define what purpose is. By beauty, I mean anything that brings joy, peace, growth or nourishment. If an experience brings you beauty, you’ve achieved your purpose in that moment.
For example, when you treat yourself to the act of watching the sun setting by the river on an autumn evening, you may feel joy, connection and inspiration: The sun’s setting below the horizon, the clouds are painted yellow and pink, and the river’s flowing by with a lovely ruffling sound.
If it brought beauty to your life, how long did that beauty last? It doesn’t matter. Life is a series of moments laid on top of each other, and you did a great job filling that particular moment with beauty.
Remember that you don’t have to wait till Saturday or till you’re 59 to achieve your purpose. You can find your purpose right here in the present moment.
I believe there are two containers in life. These include:
- The jar of happiness: We want to pour as many colourful petals of happiness as possible into this jar. We can see what’s inside this container.
- The jar of breaths: It’s a jar that’s gifted to us with a prefilled number of breaths. With every moment we live, it drains out a bit. We can’t see what remains inside this container.
Events like home-buying may bring 600 petals to the happiness jar, whereas ones like watching the sunset might bring 20.
Given that we don’t know how full the breath jar is, why should we mainly wait for grand events like a home purchase (or celebrating a family member’s college graduation) to level-up the happiness jar?
Petals of beauty are all around, in various shapes and sizes. It’s a matter of recognizing their presence, cherishing them and gratefully placing them in the happiness jar.
2 examples of finding purpose
Above, I mentioned the example of watching the sunset to illustrate how to find purpose in joyous moments in life. This purpose-finding practice doesn’t apply solely to fun and pleasant moments, though. Its power is that it can (and should) be expanded to include neutral and challenging moments.
Here’s a quick note about the practice in general, before we move onto other examples. Once I’ve indulged in the experience, I say an affirmation out loud, which sounds something like this:
“Enjoying the sunset by the riverside brought beauty to my being. I’m living my life so I can find and indulge in experiences like this one. I’ve achieved my purpose in life.”
Speaking the affirmation gives me a relaxing sense of fulfillment. It’s like I’ve put down a 50-pound bag I’d been carrying for hours, and now I’m lying on a bed of cherry blossoms. That’s my body’s way of saying, “Thanks for indulging me in this nourishing experience and for taking the burden of future purposes off me, for now.”
An example of a neutral experience
You’re washing dishes in the kitchen sink. Your hands are moving the sponge across a dish. You pick up the soap and squirt it over the pan. You turn on the water.
Each of those physical acts is a marvellous gift that your mind and body have been granted, and together, they allow you to complete a seemingly mundane task. Acknowledging the presence of those gifts—along with the home in which you’re staying, the meal you just had, and other pleasant physical realities–can bring ease and gratitude to your existence.
Although washing dishes is just a five-minute task, it can make you feel nourished and blessed when it comes to the things that are working well in your life.
You might say to yourself, “Feeling grateful for being able to wash dishes brought beauty to my being. I’m living my life so I can find and indulge in experiences like this one. I’ve achieved my purpose in life.”
An example of a challenging experience
You’re feeling anxious about a job application, so you step aside from the computer for a few minutes. You choose to watch a fun TV show, go for a walk outside, do some calming meditation exercises, or engage in whatever else brings you ease. You come back to the computer and resume your work on the application.
You might say, “The way my mind and body managed anxiety reminded me that I’m continuing to grow and become more capable. That reminder brought beauty to my being. I’m living my life so I can find and indulge in experiences like this one. I’ve achieved my purpose in life.”
You might wonder why I’m saying “I’ve achieved my purpose in life” as part of these examples, as your life’s purpose isn’t solely to wash dishes, submit job applications or watch autumn sunsets.
While that is true, life is nothing but what you have in this moment. The past is gone, the future is uncertain and the present is the only present you have. So life equals this moment, and in those particular moments, I found beauty and achieved my purpose. That makes “I’ve achieved my purpose in life” a valid and rejuvenating statement.
How does this practice help?
Based on my experience so far, here’s how this practice has helped me.
It boosts confidence
When I know that I’m finding and enjoying my purpose more often, that makes me feel more confident, especially during challenging moments. I think, “Yes, I’m doing what I like. I’m capable of doing it.”
It’s an upward spiral. The more you seek and indulge, the better you get at it, and the more confident you feel about your ability to find and achieve your grand and not-so-grand purposes.
It brings fulfillment
Upon starting this practice, I was doing it three or four times a day. The experiences included relatively simple ones like watching a hummingbird fly towards a Mojave Yucca bush.
Gradually, I expanded the scope. If I was stuck in traffic, I’d find beauty in the act of being patient (when I could). If I was having a delicious meal, I’d find beauty in the act of mindfully focusing on how the food tasted. With this expansion, I started to find beauty across a spectrum of experiences, which has opened my mind to diversity, growth and joy.
I also felt more at ease, knowing that my ‘grand’ purposes—for example, waiting for X years to retire or Y months to visit family—weren’t holding me back in terms of finding fulfillment. I was living on a moment-by-moment basis (while also doing long-term planning when needed), and there was freedom in that: My purposes weren’t dangling off the hidden ropes of uncertainty; they were right here, beside me, in the present moment.
It provides a better path for thoughts and actions
During my trip, I was on a hike in the desert on a warm December afternoon. While I was walking, my mind kept thinking about logistics like where to buy groceries, where I’d hike the next day, and what the weather would be like the next evening so I could plan the star photography. The list went on until I saw a squirrel bounce across the narrow trail.
That reminded me: I am on a hike right now. My mind could focus on what was out there in the future, or pay attention to what’s here in the present. Choosing the latter brought beauty, inculcated curiosity (where was the squirrel going? was it hungry?) and made me smile—it added another petal to the happiness jar. On the other hand, choosing the former would have essentially shortened my life by making me spend time on stuff that didn’t need my attention at the moment.
The level of content in the breath jar is invisible and the happiness jar’s potential contents are out there. Why shouldn’t I leverage the uncertainty of the former jar as a reason to seek out those potential contents and gratefully pour them into the latter jar?
That’s one example, but the broader takeaway is that the act of finding purpose around me, through experiences that bring beauty, is helping me reroute my thoughts and actions towards a more peaceful and fulfilling path.
The essential steps to finding your purpose
Above all, mindfulness is the foundation of this practice.
Find meaningful experiences
When you pay closer, more mindful attention to what’s around you and inside you, that will give you more opportunities to find your purpose.
Be with your experiences
The mind often wavers across multiple trains of thought, but you can leverage the foundation of mindfulness to shift your thoughts away from those that aren’t necessary in the moment. Those are the thoughts that can take away hours, days or even years of your life. Instead, you can use mindfulness to shift your mind towards thoughts that bring you beauty and thereby contribute to the achievement of your life’s purpose.
It takes time and patience
This practice, like all self-growth practices, takes time. However, you’ll eventually get to a point at which you don’t have to explicitly look out for meaningful experiences and jump into them. Your mind will, instead, merge with them naturally. For me, it’s become more of an “I love doing this thing” rather than an “I need to do this thing” mindset.
You can start with one purpose a day and gradually expand your practice on a schedule you’re comfortable with.
My overall approach can be defined as:
A good practice + motivation + consistency = healthy and joyous petals in your life.
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image 1: Kunal Mehra Photography; image 2: Alexas_Fotos