While in my third trimester of my first pregnancy, I binged episodes of the then recently released Netflix series, Tidying Up, during which the host Marie Kondo politely granted me permission to let go of anything that wasn’t bringing me joy.
Smack dab at the peak of my nesting phase, my new drug of choice—in lieu of my preferred amount of caffeine—became frequenting the back alley of our local Goodwill where I’d unload mountains of trash bags chock-full of items I didn’t need and would never miss.
While minimalism has maintained its place as a pillar of my value system ever since Marie asked me to reassess if motherhood was really going to require that pencil skirt from 2010, I must admit that having young kids in tandem with my long-standing obsession with anything related to home decor or home aesthetics has given me a few additional layers of consideration on my path towards simplicity.
Even still, I’ve managed to protect my decluttering-addicted, Joanna Gaines-loving heart from discouraging rigidity with a few friendly reminders that have helped lighten my load mentally, physically and realistically.
So for the parents who spend way too much time at home with their kids not to have an opinion about an appropriate amount of throw pillows, and for those who still aim to make their space a beautiful place they love to be, this guide is for you.
Here are my 13 tips for “minimalish” maintenance—and these will work for people without kids, too.
Work on small areas
Occasionally, pick a drawer—not a room—and clean it out. At the risk of sounding dramatic, sometimes it can feel like my entire well-being hinges on my ability to easily close the kitchen drawer housing my linens. Rather than allowing this trivial annoyance to become an expletive-inducing experience, I can take five minutes to declutter or redistribute the overstuffed drawer instead of overreacting on account of too many dish towels.
I’ve tackled enough quick tasks like this now to know that working on one small area begets motivation for another, further confirming a little effort can go a long way.
Don’t collect too many baskets
Despite my urge to solve every housekeeping issue with another basket, it’s unfortunately possible to have too much of a good thing. My tendency is to accumulate stuff in as many baskets as I’ve allowed myself, rather than using the baskets as an interim tool for transport like I intended. Consequently, if I want to avoid compiling static stockpiles, I need to cut myself off at a realistic amount of baskets that is helpful without being enabling.
Just like buying new underwear to avoid washing the dirty ones, it’s better to unload and free up a basket in the same way it benefits me to do the damn laundry instead.
Use pillow covers to refresh your space
When the impulse to buy new decorative pillows arrives with ferocity, opt for pillow covers instead. A new pattern can easily refresh a space, but investing in another full-size pillow every time you get the itch to switch won’t do your guest room closet any favours.
When we purchased a new sofa to replace the three-seater couch we got by with for the first seven years of my marriage, I was stoked to finally get all the decorative pillows of my dreams to fill it. After weeks of experimentation, I’d finally landed on the exact patterns and groupings of cozy squares and rectangles destined for each of the three nooks of our new sectional, which looked really beautiful for five minutes before my children reminded me what kids love most about pillows: throwing them on the ground.
So while I’m a little salty that my couch display usually looks more like an ongoing fort project than a Crate and Barrel catalogue, I have to admit that fewer pillows (and blankets)—despite the fun I have styling them—will always be easier on my parental closing duties.
Choose what occupies your space carefully
Consider that when we allow certain things to infiltrate our space, we’re denying ourselves potentially more important pursuits. I often look at the specificity of a holiday-inspired magazine and think, but where will that trio of Christmas trees staged in every corner go in the off-season? The obvious answer must be eventually where you’re currently doing your at-home Yoga practice, or whatever your space-inhabiting hobby or movement method is.
Despite my spacious closet, it’s no longer a place full of trendy pieces I wore once and forgot about. When I decided to take writing seriously, I made room and put a desk in there because I wanted to give myself a quiet place to work. And sure, it may double as a landing place for clean laundry sometimes, but I love the diversity of my “cloffice” and the freedom it’s given me to dwell quietly in solitude.
Make your decor functional
Use functional items as decor. Every time I’m decorating, I get excited to work with a blank canvas from which I can build beautiful vignettes with pieces I love. But often my initial vision ends up looking too busy and I pare it back to a much simpler look.
This is a relief every time and has led me to embrace this notion from the get-go: Make all the things you need anyway—kitchen towels and utensils, fruit bowls and their contents—the decor, which is also a great excuse to splurge on the nicer hand towels. On a similar note…
Accept blank spaces
It’s more than OK to allow a space to be blank. I find myself constantly fighting the urge to add an arrangement to the centre of our dining table, but that plane is a horizontal magnet for anything circulating in and out of use throughout the day.
Adding something to it for the sake of making it look prettier often backfires and becomes more stressful than enjoyable. Fresh-cut flowers don’t quite hit the same when they’re competing with a few haphazard piles of art supplies and some abandoned dishes that didn’t quite make it to the cabinet from the drying rack.
I’ve learned that constantly seeing things out of place is overstimulating enough for me and what my eyes usually need most when the day is done is a completely clear surface.
Try a “no buy” month
This means you aren’t buying anything at all, unless it’s absolutely essential, for an entire month. OK, yes, admittedly, I did put a six-foot faux olive tree in and out of my Amazon cart no less than eight times, but the point is that delaying pulling the trigger helped me realize that I don’t actually want to contend with a giant trendy shrub in the same corner that’s meant for my Christmas tree.
Get thrifty
Thrift! I used to overlook the thrift store for myriad reasons, but I’ve found that not only is buying secondhand more sustainable and cost-savvy, I feel way less guilty about re-donating things I only needed or wanted for a short while.
In truth, I started thrifting my Halloween decor in July this year, which sounds a little psychotic, but I had so much fun taking my time sourcing weird and spooky trunks, old books, and glassware I made look like witchy potion bottles—with the whole adventure a reminder of how thrilling the hunt for quirky gems can be.
Utilize your vertical space
Details like light fixtures, wallpaper, artwork and hanging plants all make an impact without stealing square footage. Too many times, I’ve made the mistake of buying something I think will solve an overabundance of white space, only to conclude that another piece of furniture at eye-level is rarely the answer.
Alternatively, I (OK, my husband) recently added iron brackets to the top four corners of a hallway nook in our home as a purely aesthetic architectural choice, and I’m obsessed with the charming touch of character that is simultaneously and completely out of my way. While this route often requires a drill (yikes) or an extra set of hands, investing in more vertical visual interest packs a worthwhile punch of personality. You’re welcome for a wider walking path.
Explore Etsy’s digital downloads
If, like me, you enjoy periodically switching out artwork, but are unwilling to fuss with storing tired pieces and hanging new ones, there’s another way. For so long, I resented my inability to enjoy new art until I learned of the limitless library of printable possibilities on Etsy. There, you can purchase a digital download for a few bucks then print it at Walgreens (or another store that offers photo-printing in your area) to fit the dimensions of a frame you already have.
I like to give my print a more high-end look with a couple coats of Mod Podge and voilà: designer art for less! Not only is this method of swapping out the art around your home more budget-friendly, but storing multiple prints in the same frame is a space-saving no brainer.
Keep a small collection of mainstay items
It’s best to keep only a capsule collection of mainstay items. You don’t need a vase in every size, shape and moody matte tone, for example. I’ve bought a plethora of vintage-emulating vessels I just knew would change my life, only to realize (yet again) that the differentiating qualities this vase had from other ones I already owned were never going to be worth their real estate in justifiable joy.
If a refresh is what you want, consider switching out the contents of your vases instead.
Use natural flowers
This brings me to stems. You can change yours out, too. Despite what boutique faux floral brands are telling you, you don’t have to spend $38 per piece of plastic when you can source the real thing from the actual outdoors for—you guessed it—free.
Not to be groundbreaking, but authentic flowers and foliage are one of the most tasteful touches you can add to any space, and they take up exactly zero room in your garage when the season is over—a personally preferable option, even over Hobby Lobby’s longstanding 40-percent-off faux florals.
Embrace your life’s season
Wherever you’re at, embrace your particular season of life. God knows I don’t need another fuzzy backpack to accommodate a rock hobby, but I try to remind myself that this particular stretch of time at home with multiple children under five won’t be one during which I prioritize fewer things that potentially buy me five minutes of single task focus, or, say, help me exit the playground with children whom are more willing because I’ve allowed certain souvenirs to come along (Sorry to Susie’s Mimi, whom Susie painted a rock green for and wrote “love you, Mimi -Susie,” and then Mimi left it on a curb at a park we visit for my kids to find. They judged it essential to bring it home, and I let them.).
Be it the accumulation of tiny trinkets or sticks, magna-tiles or rocks, I’ll happily supply a realistic amount of backpacks of the fuzzy (or glittery) variety to contain said entertainment if it means nurturing my kids’ interests and curiosities with the additional hope of giving myself a break.
Move forward with radical intentionality
I’m well-aware of the ever-present challenge of managing the influx of stuff in our homes while living lives that don’t particularly lend themselves to the regular domestic upkeep that’s vital to staying sane. Which is why I hope you feel this non-judgmental, big sister energy of mine when I remind you, as Marie Kondo did me, that you don’t have to deal with the excess.
You can let most of it go, hold on to what matters, and move forward with radical intentionality that may or may not include the occasional bender at HomeGoods. Because–decor enthusiast or not–we get to claim our own joys. The things we deem “worth it” are ours to decide. I just prefer a little breathing room.
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