“Memento mori” is Latin for “Remember you must die.” It’s as close to a motto as a Stoic can get.
The origin of the phrase dates back to at least ancient Roman times. Similar sayings are found in old Christian texts and elsewhere, even in the humorous adage, “don’t buy any green bananas.” Remembering the inevitability of death is meant to keep us aware that more time is promised to no one.
We find a similar sentiment in the phrase “Carpe diem“—Latin for “seize the day.” And in Tim McGraw’s 2004 hit song, “Live Like You Were Dying.”
However, in Stoicism, a person doesn’t have to have a near-death experience to adopt the “live like you were dying” attitude. Memento mori stoicism reminds us to make conscious choices about how we spend our time.
Do we really want to spend precious minutes arguing about politics on social media with people we don’t even know? We already know how that scenario ends. Both sides dig in their heels and nothing changes. How will that make the world—and our own world—a better place? It won’t.
Instead, maybe it’s time to volunteer at a non-profit organization, spend more time with family and friends and say yes to trying something new.
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.
Marcus Aurelius
Memento mori stoicism in the here and now
Many people actively avoid the topic of death. On the other hand, the Stoic converts memento mori into fuel for living well now, not in some abstract future time. The world will literally end for us someday, when we’re no longer a part of it, so the Stoic concludes that there’s no time to waste.
Making the most of one’s life manifests in many ways. Here are just a few of the possibilities:
- Considering that each time you say goodbye to someone might be the last time you see them.
- Not procrastinating when it comes to pursuing a goal or making a necessary change in one’s life.
- Accepting that life is unpredictable and largely out of our control, and so is death.
- Big problems become small problems through the lens of life’s unknowable end.
- Death is the great equalizer. No matter how much wealth or power a person accumulates, they will die one day, too. We are all just human beings, part of nature. All living things die.
Stoicism’s approach to death is consistent with its approach to everything else: concern yourself only with what you can change. Accept the rest and carry on.
Who doesn’t want to be appreciated? Maybe even thought of as special or extraordinary? If we get to experience that kind of recognition, Stoics understand that like life itself, it’s simply not going to last. So enjoy the moment while understanding that like every other situation, it’s fleeting.
Life, if well lived, is long enough.
Seneca
Whether or not you believe there’s an afterlife, some form of paradise where our souls go when our body is finished, is almost irrelevant to the discussion of death’s pending arrival. If you have faith in a promised land or conclude that this life is the end of the line, death—the end of this life—will still come. And denying it is as meaningless as wishing a tax bill wouldn’t show up. This approach hasn’t yet been successful.
Mindfulness and gratitude for life
Most people don’t want to die. Life is wonderful, amazing, rare—we’re incredibly fortunate to have survived and live a life on this planet. We’re truly breathing rarified air. Stoics appreciate this fact, and living with reminders that this experience will come to an end makes the Stoic grateful. It also provides them with incentive to be mindful of the beauty in ordinary things and make the most of life while it lasts.
That doesn’t mean the Stoic rushes through their life’s to-do list to check off every item as fast as possible before the hourglass runs out of sand.
Completing one’s bucket list might be important, but so is savouring every day. Hurrying to the next activity takes one’s attention away from the present. Stoicism is largely about living in the moment, appreciating now and knowing that tomorrow will take care of itself. Lay groundwork for a successful tomorrow, sure, but Stoics don’t live in the future or worry about it. The future is a hypothetical concept that’s largely out of our control.
If you are careless and lazy now and keep putting things off and always deferring the day after which you will attend to yourself, you will not notice that you are making no progress, but you will live and die as someone quite ordinary.
Epictetus
The benefits of accepting death
It’s no wonder that death is an unpleasant topic for so many people. Who would choose to suddenly lose a loved one, or have them suffer from an incurable illness? Who would choose either option for themselves? But this is the reality of the human experience. And by accepting and almost embracing it, we can find richer meaning in the joy of our existence.
At the same time, the U.S. funeral business is worth about $20 billion annually, but just a fraction of the population pre-plans their funeral. Out of sight, out of mind. But not for those who practice Stoicism. Stoics revel in the times when we and those we love are well and all is calm because life is inconsistent and fickle.
Memento mori also reminds us to adhere to the Stoic virtues—temperance, justice, wisdom and courage—because they light the path to well-lived life. A life without deep regrets as we help others where we can and spread kindness. A life that is worth living, a quality life, regardless of its length.
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