\n
A month ago, after I departed from South Bend, Indiana on a 13-hour car ride filled with the sounds of cold brew slurped up through a straw, animated storytelling and my best friend\u2019s curated playlist (including a range of John Denver, Bruno Mars and a too<\/em>-heavy dose of the How the West was Won<\/em> soundtrack), my magnificent Subaru Forester entered the great state of Massachusetts. As a West-Coaster turned Midwesterner, I am on a path to resist embracing the personality of a New Englander (no hate to my New England friends).<\/p>\nAt the end of April, I accepted a new job, and with the acceptance, change rightfully flooded in. A new state. A new work culture. A new community. The flood of congratulations and support helped buffer the fear of the transition, but nothing took away the reality that uncertainty was now present. Before leaving Indiana and making this huge transition, I solicited some friends for wisdom to help on the journey.<\/p>\n
Learn to love uncertainty<\/h2>\n\n
One friend shared the simple wisdom, \u201cLearn to love uncertainty.\u201d Four words. Four rich words. For starters, I was moved by her word choice of \u201clearn.\u201d Learning requires time; it is a process. The reality is that uncertainty is here, and over time, my relationship with uncertainty can be anything I want it to be. <\/p>\n
At the time my friend shared her wisdom, my disposition toward uncertainty was very much fear-based. Internally, I didn\u2019t want to address how scared I was of this choice I was making. Yet, the wisdom in her words revealed that even though I was scared at the time, over time I could develop a love for uncertainty. There was an implicit hope embedded in her encouragement.<\/p>\n
Secondly, her choice of using the word, \u201clove\u201d was striking. It wasn\u2019t \u201clearn to tolerate uncertainty,\u201d \u201clearn to forget about uncertainty\u201d or \u201clearn to not fear uncertainty.\u201d Rather, she used the word, \u201clove.\u201d While love is a word that\u2019s misused sometimes, I know this friend was intentional in her word choice.<\/p>\n
Love is tough; it necessitates a tending to and a commitment, to befriending whatever is being loved. So if I wanted to take my friend\u2019s words seriously, I would have to befriend the uncertainty and develop a relationship with uncertainty that is attentive, trustworthy and committed. In any friendship that is rooted in love, one must will the good of the other, and the other must will that good in return.<\/p>\n
So if I wanted to learn to love uncertainty, I needed to believe it was attempting to be my friend. And while friendships can be scary and messy, they also allow for the tremendous possibility of beauty, rebirth and growth.<\/p>\n
Guided by uncertainty<\/h2>\n\n
As I settled into my new home, I made it my mission to believe uncertainty was showing up as my friend. This mission has not been easy, though, especially during moments lying in bed as a cascade of sirens outside my window flood my bedroom or walking on pee-scented streets that try to convince me that uncertainty is ill-intended and wants to be my enemy. But I\u2019ve continued to remind myself that uncertainty wants to show up for me.<\/p>\n
\nUncertainty led me to a boxing gym that meets at a park less than a 10-minute walk from my workplace. What are the chances that the gym met incredibly close to my workplace (many other gyms were a bus ride away), it was boxing (a new hobby I have learned to love), and that it was outside (I adore being outside when it is warm and sunny)?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\nUncertainty led me to the joy of a young girl whose eyes lit up as I smiled a full-teeth smile while walking past her. She gave me a full-teeth smile back and then proceeded to shout \u201cHii!!!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\nUncertainty led me to a workplace where I feel stretched, energized and grateful to show up every morning.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\nUncertainty led me to a city drenched in green spaces with ample room to contemplate, forest bathe and connect with other non-human living beings.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\nUncertainty led me to a friend who was kind enough to invite me to Mass and over for dinner (this woman can cook!), and to a group of humans who explore the questions of the heart and their relationship with the transcendent.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\nUncertainty led me to connect with an old teammate who has made me feel a sure sense of home in this foreign city.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\nUncertainty led me to yearn for old friends checking in, and in two moments of synchronicity, that yearning manifested into a surprise text and call from two of my besties who indeed checked in on me without me having to reach out to them.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\nUncertainty led me to beautiful encounters with strangers, whether that was an artist sharing excitement for her new printer that allowed for the granularity of colour, a poet selling his first collections of poems (with his friend sharing that the collection is \u201cone big cathartic cry\u201d), a stationary store worker offering to let me try his favourite fountain pen, or a woman on the train teaching me and my friend about the Muslim holiday she and her husband were observing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\nUncertainty led me to the free time to begin my artist\u2019s journey, during which I have relentlessly written every morning, taken myself on \u2018artist\u2019s dates,\u2019 drafted a letter to myself from both my eight-year-old self and 80-year-old self, and reflected on hobbies or things I would enjoy doing but have made excuses not to do.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nA search for the unknown<\/h2>\n\n
Uncertainty led me to the Museum of Fine Arts to discover Van Gogh\u2019s piece, The Ravine, <\/em>where Paul Gauguin, another famous artist, commented,<\/p>\n\nThere is one that I would like to trade with you for one of mine of your choice. The one I am talking about is a mountain landscape. Two travellers, very small, seem to be climbing there in search of the unknown \u2026 Here and there, red touches like lights, the whole in a violet tone. It is beautiful and grandiose.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
This piece is one I want to visit often. Before reading Gauguin\u2019s comment, I didn\u2019t even notice the two travellers in the piece; they melt into the mountains and it takes some discovery to see them on their journey to the top. I felt seen and alongside them in their search for the unknown.<\/p>\n
If I didn\u2019t embrace my friend\u2019s wisdom, I don\u2019t know if I would have been attentive to how uncertainty has befriended me, and how it has willed its good for me. I don\u2019t know if I would have maintained such an openness to letting uncertainty become my friend and learning to love it. I believe that uncertainty would be trying to be my friend, though, even if I was closed to the idea. In any friendship, we can be blind to the gestures our friends show to let us know they care.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know how to show uncertainty that I love it back. Right now, I am learning to stay grateful for its presence. I\u2019m keeping my arms wide open, welcoming it as I would an old friend and willing it nothing but good in return.<\/p>\n
\u00abRELATED READ\u00bb<\/strong>\u00a0ALL HUMANS HAVE BLIND SPOTS: Embracing the wisdom of uncertainty\u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\nimage 1: PxHere image 2: Gerd Altmann; image 3: Wikimedia Public Domain; image 4: Teo Georgiev <\/p>\n
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